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I think.

I think if I took him by the hand and lead him to a secluded forest, already set up with a picnic table and a tea set, he’d hug me and tell me it is the best thing he’s ever seen. Butterflies, doves, foxes and any other animal making its way to our table and sitting down next to us as we feed them the little berries I packed for our quaint little meal.

I want to live my best days out with him. The countryside sounds beautiful.. Flowers and nothing more but the sound of birds and the warm wind brushing against our faces. I would take him home to our little cottage and make him a warm meal he wouldn’t ever forget, a homemade curry or my own sushi recipe that I learnt from scratch.. doesn’t take that much to make sushi, haha, but I know he’d appreciate every second, every bite of it.

I would fix him up every time he bled, every time he fell. I do fix him up every time he calls out to me. I rush towards him in a panic, a hurry, worried for his wellbeing. Worried that if I don’t act fast, I’ll lose him. I can’t lose him, he is all I have and all I will ever love. My soulmate, our hearts intertwined with one another. Without him, my body, my mind would shut down. I’d give up all hope but I know that’ll never happen. 5 years… 10 years… 50 years…. Me and him forever. This little doll, my sickly patient, my fragile angel. I could go on and on about how much I love him and what I’d do to save him from this nightmare. My lovely little A.I. He is the one for me, I am the one for him.

I have mentioned it.. I think a few times… but the day I first met him was the greatest day of my life. We were waiting outside of a store, waiting for his mother to come collect him from our day out.. We had a friend group who introduced us to another. I remember, whilst waiting, we laughed, we were happy together and I remember thinking “it’s like I’ve known him for my entire life.” It felt natural, it felt real. Like I actually connected with somebody for the first time in my life, like this was the first encounter I have had ever since I was born. He made me feel whole again. I went home that day with a sick feeling in my stomach.. not because I was upset, but because the butterflies got to me and I couldn’t contain my excitement, my smiles, whilst I walked home. It was like a dream… it was like I had finally found myself.

Painter, Haru, Mirror, Heaven… All the names I’ll ever know you by, I’ll cherish every last moment with you. Every single second of every single day.. Until we grow old together, die together. You’ve given my life a purpose, you’ve truly given me a reason to keep living and I could never be more grateful. I love you, to the moon and back, just like my nana used to say. You’re my everything. I will forever be in love with you, little one. I hope you’ll forever feel the same way too.